Oh boys ?

The best way to describe one of my downfalls is that one quote we all have heard "I wear my heart on my sleeve." Meaning something like I fall in love to quickly but that doesn't apply to me really because I've never fallen in love. Not yet! So basically I just crush on or extremely like somebody. This would be a good thing, I guess, because you never have to figure out who you like but it sucks when the person you like doesn't feel the same way. Now most likely everyone has or will feel like this some point in time. It sucks but it happens so we have to move on and see what the next person has to offer, if anything at all.

Recently for some odd reason I've yet to figure out, I have had guys talking to me and texting me all the time. Now, the odd thing is that I may like one person or such but no one ever, I mean no one in awhile has liked me back, or so I assume. But lately guys have been talking to me. I mean, is it because I look older, is it because we're all in grade 12 now. I just don't understand, but hey, who's complaining right. I know I shouldn't be. Most girls, I know of would want guys to be asking them to hangout and text them. Me included. Here's the thing though. There were two guys, they liked me (from what I thought and what people have said..) and both had asked me to hangout. In the beginning I was all for this idea. But as the "date" of our hangout drew closer, I freaked out. I ended up convincing myself that there was something wrong with them or that I just didn't like them enough. Now when I say something wrong, I don't mean like something is physically/mentally or emotionally wrong with them, it's just that they drink or party or smoke cigarettes. I am not a big fan of pot smokers but it doesn't bother me, really, just cigarettes...I mean...yuck! Anyway, I ended up avoiding or canceling my plans with these two guys and now, they're both talking to me, but not the same. I think they know I blew them off. I know I should have given them a chance and it was unfair of me to do that but, what can I say. I physced myself out and chose the wrong path, at least with one of them.

Anyway, a week later or so, this other guy and I start talking. Now I've always had a bit of a crush on this guy but I've never said anything or made a move or what not. I just let the wind flow wherever it goes. We started talking and I can't figure out if he likes me or not or may like me or doesn't know...I'm not sure. Then there is this other guy, lmao, I know...all the guys...well he is...let's just say in VERY good shape. ;) I have always sort of had a thing for him but people think hes creepy just because he has a bit of a dirty mind and shares it with others and is a little more straight forward. This however, does not turn me off at all for some reason. I don't find anything creepy or weird about him. I don't know, we flirt but I'm not sure if there is potential for relationship there. So there ya have it...my big relationship drama and somehow I am still emotionally great! Oh boy...!